overbox | TFLN

1: Why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
2: You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
3: Why do they even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila adverts? Has anything responsible ever come from tequila? No. Never.
4: are you inviting me to ice cream?
5: [Or text him!]

1: dude. I can hear the air.
2: you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
3: He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
4: Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
5: [Or text her!]

1: I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
2: According to my bank account I spent one yen some where
3: I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order in which they would die in the food chain.
4: He hit me with his bagpipe
5: [Or text her!]

1) Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.

2) I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on.

3) You were silly, high, and chewing on things.

4) And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...

5) I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.

6) Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??

7) [text him! misfires welcome]

ghydweslkop wsadsgrtdwertf

[listen, she's got giant claws and also very little literacy, this is the best you're getting]

1) Who goes to church hungover?

2) The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"

3) There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to St. Gradius.

4) Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.

1. just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
2. this is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
3. you said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
4. this is a drunk text message: I am so glad that we are friends. tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. we both love dogs. flower.
5. [Text her.]

1: A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
2: Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
3: God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
4: I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
5: [Or text him!]

1.) Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
2.) He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
3.) We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
4.) Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???

1: I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
2: you asked me how to turn on the ladder
3: ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
4: So here I am, sexting at work.
5: [Or text her!]

1: You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober? But then u stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP!
2: I didn't say it was safe! I said it was LEGAL!! I didn't say anything about it being safe, it's not my fault if you weren't listening properly!
3: Panties = found!!
4: Remember that party we went to year two where we found that girl and had the orgy? I'm totally at that inn right now...
5: (or text her!)

Edited 2019-01-25 04:39 (UTC)

1. The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.

2. I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.

3. I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...

4. I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE

5. choose your own adventure

1:I walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
2: So I come back to the ship this morning after negotiating us a job, and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
3: I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
4: I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.

1.) Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
2.) I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
3.) Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
4.) he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug

1) (>| the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus |<)
2) (>| all I could understand from her text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch" |<)
(>| it's safe to say sephar has had enough to drink & will be violent soon |<)
3) (>| now that you're back together are you going to tell him you set his stuff on fire? |<)
4) (>| did you dl zombie porn on my computer? |<)

1. Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.

2. It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.

3. You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.

4. I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it

1. cumdump woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on cumdump's stomach. can you come get cumdump?
2. why is cumdump's bed wrapped in bubble wrap?
3. ok there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
4. wow cumdump can hear the air

Edited 2019-01-26 23:18 (UTC)

1) i would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep

2) just saw a man jogging. for recreation. at 3am. who's he training to be, batman?

3) i walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... consequences"

4) there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum

5) the bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inauguration service for the new one

6) i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk

7) [text him! misfires welcome]

Jun Gungjeon | Original

Bai Lin | OC

Kohaku Yuhara | Original

Keith | Voltron: Legendary Defender

Zinnia | OC

Kokoro Belmont | Otomedius

Lutea | Original Character

Terry | Original

Kit September | Original (nWoD Changeling)

Andromeda | Original

Didi Yeowoo | OC

Arianna Caledonia 🌱 Etrian Odyssey 2 Untold

Teruv Nai Shavalak Hyuldal | OC