TFLN

[anoceanofatma]

Texts From Last Night

You know what to do

Comments

Salamandinay | Cross Ange

[salamandrill]

1. Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.

2. It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.

3. You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.

4. I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it

1

[phobophage]

I live to serve. I'll put my millennia of experience with such things to use just for you.

[Is she laying it on thick? She is.]

[salamandrill]

If you are quite certain a millennium is enough

[phobophage]

Multiple of them. But seriously, just lay it on me, and I'll give you only the best advice.

[salamandrill]

It's just that keeping track of how this woman actually feels about anyone is giving me whiplash

[phobophage]

Drop her like a bad habit. Seriously. I was going to troll you with ridiculous advice, but I think you need some real advice.

[salamandrill]

I think I am far too inexperienced to take this good advice, alas.

[phobophage]

I could scare her off for you. It'd be a real pleasure. Because I love scaring people.

[salamandrill]

I would threaten to hit you for that but she would be very difficult to frighten off.

[phobophage]

I have millennia of experience in terrifying people, but it seems you don't want this sort of help anyways. A shame.

[salamandrill]

I would have preferred conversational advice.

Also: I might not really be that much better than her.

[phobophage]

Okay, I'm bored so conversational advice I'll give. Give me a while, though, I'm gonna make the shadows around this dude look really threatening. It should be a riot.

[salamandrill]

That does sound delightful! I'm a bit jealous.

3

[quietknight]

They transformed in that one movie. What was I supposed to think?

[salamandrill]

That movies might be fictional?

[quietknight]

I was extremely drunk! Such subtlties were lost on me!

[salamandrill]

i suppooose in your inebriated state, with so little experience with automobiles, it can be forgiven

[quietknight]

It didn't transform, right? It's all a blur...

[salamandrill]

I'm sorry. It didn't transform.