General voice test

[hatesdrdinosaur]

-1-

[Congratulations, smart person. Your application to work at the Tesladyne institute has been processed. All that remains is the interview with the institute's founder, the intelligent robot known as Atomic Robo. Robo is by far the most unusual thing in the office, which is otherwise utterly mundane. You've never seen a robot wearing a t-shirt.]

Glad you could make it, take a seat.

-2-

[Downtown is being trashed by a sixty foot tarantula that is spitting green fireballs]

I can think of five reasons why that can't possibly exist off the top of my head.

[Despite the physical impossibility of it, it just ate a mail-man. Robo slumps his shoulders.]

There are guns in the truck.

-3-

[You're both on the way to a mission in the depths of the Amazon Rain Forest, on a helicopter. Robo takes you aside at one point on the trip.]

Listen, we're going to be going into enemy territory for this one, so you'll need to be prepared.

[As you contemplate how you THOUGHT you were going to check out some vine covered ruins that had risen out of the ground mysteriously, Robo leads you to a large crate in the back labeled "Bug repellent". He flips the latch and the top pops open to reveal that the crate is full of guns.]

Comments

[former_endboss]

Barely. Well that's encoruaging.

[She takes it anyway, and a spare crystal in case this one starts acting up. God, let's hope Doctor Dinosaur doesn't get his hands on these.]

Anything else?

[hatesdrdinosaur]

Try blasting its legs off. I'll distract it.

[former_endboss]

Right.

[And with that, she takes off down the street to find a better firing position.]

[hatesdrdinosaur]

[Robo takes off in the same direction. When they get close enough, he leaps thirty feet into the air and towards the spider, firing at it with a machine gun in each hand]

HEY EIGHT EYES! HERE COMES THE GIANT ROLLED UP NEWSPAPER OF SCIENCE!

[Well, he said he was going to distract it.]

[former_endboss]

[You know what we should have seen coming? The 60 foot spider having webs to spray at the distraction. Jacqli is just gonna swear as she points a gun at the thing, aiming for a joint close to the body that won't move as much...]

Come on, hold still...

[hatesdrdinosaur]

[Atomic Robo is plastered to the side of a building by sticky gray goop.]

Oh come on! Spiders can't SHOOT silk at people! Oh god this feels so gross

[He'll probably get free soon enough, but for now it was just between Jacqli and the tarantula.]

[former_endboss]

High pressure nozzles in the spinnerets...

[Jacqli suddenly drops her shot and takes a potshot at the tip of the abdomen, hitting shell instead of delicate organs she was aiming for. Or at least she would have if the giant tarantula hadn't lifted it's rear at just the right moment to take that in the highly delicate web spinning organs.

Spider silk literally explodes everywhere when the spinnerets rupture, as the creature screams in pain and spits fireballs at everything. And the gun does not explode, thankfully.]

[hatesdrdinosaur]

[A fireball hits Robo directly, setting him aflame. Fortunately, it also set the spider silk on fire. Before the tarantula could close on its attacker, a flaming robot descended from the heavens and landed on its head, knocking it off balance.

Then, Robo bounced and landed in a heap on the street.]

Ow.