Maximillian/The War Mage (
these_orcs_must) wrote in
overbox2012-10-12 01:20 pm
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(no subject)
-1-

[The word of the day is traps. The War Mage stood at one end of the corridor, his bladestaff braced against the ground, and watched as the limitless horde of orcs were crushed, shot, melted, burned, chopped, and otherwise killed by the dozens. It's honestly kind of horrifying to watch]
Ahhh, I love my job. Ooh, killstreak!
-2-

[The War Mage is drunk off his gourd at tavern somewhere a and telling outrageous stories about himself to a crowd of empty-headed bimbos. He's the loudest person in the room]
So there I was, my back to the rift as the ogres closed in. There was no way a War Mage could win there. I mean, one man against a dozen ogres? Crazy! That is, if the man was anyone other than yours truly.
-3-

[You're in a castle under siege. You've been more or less ignoring the War Mage so far, since by all accounts he's a complete idiot, but somehow he managed to get in on the discussion of the defense against the next enemy attack.]
They're planning on undermining the eastern wall. You can tell by how they've got their catapults set up. See? If they were really planning to assault from the north, they'd be using incendiary bombs and they'd have stacks of smoke bombs in the ammo piles, but they're just using big rocks. They want to keep our attention but not actually waste too many resources. I bet they'll start with a charge of heavy infantry from the north, then trigger their mine and have dragoons charge in from the east and start throwing boards and stuff over the moat. We should set our defenses here and here. And I think we have time to start a countermine and collapse their tunnel before it reaches the wall.
[This is from the guy who said "talky thing" because he couldn't remember the word "language" not half an hour ago. Where did THAT come from?]
[The word of the day is traps. The War Mage stood at one end of the corridor, his bladestaff braced against the ground, and watched as the limitless horde of orcs were crushed, shot, melted, burned, chopped, and otherwise killed by the dozens. It's honestly kind of horrifying to watch]
Ahhh, I love my job. Ooh, killstreak!
-2-
[The War Mage is drunk off his gourd at tavern somewhere a and telling outrageous stories about himself to a crowd of empty-headed bimbos. He's the loudest person in the room]
So there I was, my back to the rift as the ogres closed in. There was no way a War Mage could win there. I mean, one man against a dozen ogres? Crazy! That is, if the man was anyone other than yours truly.
-3-
[You're in a castle under siege. You've been more or less ignoring the War Mage so far, since by all accounts he's a complete idiot, but somehow he managed to get in on the discussion of the defense against the next enemy attack.]
They're planning on undermining the eastern wall. You can tell by how they've got their catapults set up. See? If they were really planning to assault from the north, they'd be using incendiary bombs and they'd have stacks of smoke bombs in the ammo piles, but they're just using big rocks. They want to keep our attention but not actually waste too many resources. I bet they'll start with a charge of heavy infantry from the north, then trigger their mine and have dragoons charge in from the east and start throwing boards and stuff over the moat. We should set our defenses here and here. And I think we have time to start a countermine and collapse their tunnel before it reaches the wall.
[This is from the guy who said "talky thing" because he couldn't remember the word "language" not half an hour ago. Where did THAT come from?]
1
Is this...really necessary?
[Whether she means the violence or the gloating even she's not sure.]
Re: 1
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[Seriously, they just keep coming. That one got dismembered, then trampled, then shot, she thinks. Why?]
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Not for long.
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Put that down, I'm going to heal him and ask him some questions!