General voice test

[justthehardway]

-1-

[At the front desk. The following is delivered in a monotone]

Hello and welcome to the Piltover Police Department. Sheriff Caitlyn is out right now on business and has left me to hold down the fort and not cause any trouble. How can I help you today?

-2-

[Vi just got a long dressing down from the chief of police (or some other authority feature) for the excessive property damage she tends to cause while in pursuit of wrong doers. Vi's response:]

Oh hey, hang on a tic I just added an upgrade that is perfect for this situation.

[She pushes a button on the right powerfist, then extends her middle finger in authority's general direction. After a few seconds, the finger starts shooting fireworks.]

-3-

[Hot pursuit! You broke the law, and now Vi has you cornered, at least for a few seconds.]

Is this the part where you resist arrest? PLEASE tell me it's the part where you resist arrest. That's my favorite part!

Comments

2

[6billioncreditwoman]

[Shepard takes a step to the side of the path of the fireworks, staying behind her desk.]

Cute, Vi. Real cute. You're still missing the point of the whole serve and protect thing.

[justthehardway]

Wait hold that thought it's not done.

[After another second or two, a tinny recording of the national anthem kicks in.]

THERE we go...

[6billioncreditwoman]

Why do you even--

[She shakes her head.]

That's not important. Gun, badge, gauntlets, on this desk until you can behave like a cop.

[justthehardway]

Ahaha, good one!

[Her extremely childish display finished, Vi plants both fists on Shepard's desk and leans forwards.]

We both know you need me out there. I might step on some toes sometimes but I get results.

Or do you want to tell me you're NOT relieved that half of Aria's goons are behind bars right now?

[6billioncreditwoman]

I'd be a lot more relieved if you hadn't caused more damage bringing them in than they did actually committing crimes. Results matter, but methods matter too.

[justthehardway]

Isn't that what we have insurance for?

[6billioncreditwoman]

You think this is about money? It's about you putting the people we're trying to protect in danger.

[justthehardway]

I haven't killed any civilians! There was that one guy who got a broken arm but he never pressed charges!

...And I guess there was the bus full of children, but most of them thought it was the coolest thing that had ever happened to them. And that taxi cab driver, but the doctors said he wouldn't even have a limp. And the...Whatever point is I've never caused any SERIOUS trouble, right?

[6billioncreditwoman]

Vi, I'm gonna be honest here. You're a good cop, but you're goddamn manslaughter waiting to happen. Shape up, or go home.