TFLN

[anoceanofatma]

Texts From Last Night

You know what to do

Comments

[andromedroid]

Look.

Put your foot on the bottom rung.

[richbirbboy]

The bottom rung looks extremely far away.

The 'ladder' mechanism extends down to the bottom deck, I mean.

Whoever built this ship was thoughtless to include artifical gravity but no lifts.

[andromedroid]

Oh so you're at the top of the ladder.

Okay new plan put your foot on the rung that is nearest to your foot.

[richbirbboy]

I do not think I am at the top of the ladder but I will take your word for it.

...okay now what? It is gripped firmly with the talons but it doesn't do anything.

And also this feels awkward.

[andromedroid]

Now, put your other foot on the rung below the rung you are currently gripping.

You may have to grip higher runs for balance with your hands. I suggest the ones at about eye level.

[richbirbboy]

You are lucky I was able to spot the trouble before I would have had to switch my phone to speach-to-text. Um.

Not that I was really typing before. I was right though, this is awkward.

[andromedroid]

You're doing great. Now move your first foot down to the rung below where you put your second foot.

[richbirbboy]

This doesn't feel like I'm activating the ladder! You said you would walk me through it.

But now what??

[andromedroid]

The ladder does not activate. I told you this already.

Now move your higher foot to below your lower foot. Adjust your hand grips if needed.

[richbirbboy]

You said you would show me how to use the climbing action though?

The gripping things though, is a thing I can keep doing and stopping in sequence.

[andromedroid]

Teruv you are climbing right now. Just keep moving your feet down like you have been. That's all there is to it. Eventually, you will reach the bottom deck.

[richbirbboy]

[There is a significantly longer pause here]

I wanted to go to the top deck to speak to the captain. Am I using the wrong ladder, or something?

Was I on the top deck all along?

[andromedroid]

[The pause before Andi's response is several milliseconds longer than usual. Teruv why are you like this?]

Checking your transponder location.

You are on the second deck. You want to go up.

So just.

Do what you were doing, but in the other direction.

[richbirbboy]

UGH

This is so bad.

Gravlifts are so easy to use compared to this.

I know my ancestors evolved from arboreal species, but your ancestors are toasters, and I don't ask you to heat bread.

Phonetag

[andromedroid]

You did ask me to heat bread for you. Yesterday morning at breakfast.

[richbirbboy]

...sorry, I was hung over and you were closer to the bread. And I'm used to servant robots but I promise not to treat you like one anymore.