TFLN

[anoceanofatma]

Texts From Last Night

You know what to do

Comments

Andromeda | Original

[andromedroid]

1: I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
2: you asked me how to turn on the ladder
3: ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
4: So here I am, sexting at work.
5: [Or text her!]

2, it's yer birb, without icons yet...

[richbirbboy]

Yes

how does it work

if I grab on, is it automatic?

[andromedroid]

No that's an elevator. A ladder doesn't turn on. You just climb it.

clearly early days here

[richbirbboy]

What do you mean 'climb it'?

Andromeda, please explain the climbing action, how do I activate it.

Could you perhaps install an elevator if that is easier to use?

[andromedroid]

Look.

Put your foot on the bottom rung.

[richbirbboy]

The bottom rung looks extremely far away.

The 'ladder' mechanism extends down to the bottom deck, I mean.

Whoever built this ship was thoughtless to include artifical gravity but no lifts.

[andromedroid]

Oh so you're at the top of the ladder.

Okay new plan put your foot on the rung that is nearest to your foot.

[richbirbboy]

I do not think I am at the top of the ladder but I will take your word for it.

...okay now what? It is gripped firmly with the talons but it doesn't do anything.

And also this feels awkward.

[andromedroid]

Now, put your other foot on the rung below the rung you are currently gripping.

You may have to grip higher runs for balance with your hands. I suggest the ones at about eye level.

[richbirbboy]

You are lucky I was able to spot the trouble before I would have had to switch my phone to speach-to-text. Um.

Not that I was really typing before. I was right though, this is awkward.

[andromedroid]

You're doing great. Now move your first foot down to the rung below where you put your second foot.

[richbirbboy]

This doesn't feel like I'm activating the ladder! You said you would walk me through it.

But now what??

[andromedroid]

The ladder does not activate. I told you this already.

Now move your higher foot to below your lower foot. Adjust your hand grips if needed.

2

[lightnovelexperiences]

In my defense I was stuck in an MMO for 5 years, where that's a reasonable question?

[andromedroid]

What kind of MMO makes you turn on ladders?

[lightnovelexperiences]

it's a game abstraction? Like HP. Or tapping on a chest to make it open.

Or food. How often do you eat in a - okay maybe that's a bad example

[andromedroid]

It is but I take your point.

You can just climb the ladder. It works like a ladder works.

[lightnovelexperiences]

seems fake

...it's weird getting back to physicality especially staying uh, this way??

[andromedroid]

I have heard that many AIs have trouble dealing with the physical world after being embodied.

[Which is what she is assuming is Didi's situation.]

[lightnovelexperiences]

[Pretty much exactly that, honestly.]

And being embodied as - as character I designed!

Not that I'm complaining, at all, but wow!

...do you pick out your, uh, is chassis the right word? Please let me know if that's impolite...

[andromedroid]

It's fine.

I did not design my chassis, but I like it well enough. My physical specs are considerably beyond what any human could match, and creators considered aesthetics carefully while designing me and my brother.

[Read: they're both designed to be super strong and super hot.]

[lightnovelexperiences]

I'm glad that worked out for you. Sincerely.

Just strength and agility through the roof, or stuff no human could even TRY, too?

[andromedroid]

I'm not going to lift a car over my head any time soon, if that's what you're asking.

There is one change I might make, should I get the chance, though...

[lightnovelexperiences]

Oh really? What's that?

[andromedroid]

I do not have a vagina.